Gags For The Office Drone


-    Run one lap around the office at top speed
-    Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least one other 'no-player'must be in the bathroom at the time)
-    Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you
-    Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye"
-    To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
-    When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily,"Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!"
-    Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way"
-    Walk sideways to the photocopier.
-    While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.


-    Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers
-    Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it"
-    Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice)
-    Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
-    Shout random numbers while someone is counting.


-    At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
-    Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
-    For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as 'Bob'.
-    Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do number two".
-    After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamacian accent.
-    As in, "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.
-    While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
-    In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damm it, all of you just shut up!"
-    At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".
-    In a colleagues diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".
-    Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"
-    Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now"
-    Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk  about it"
-    Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local resturant. Let him go.
-    Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
-    Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
-    Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
-    Rollerblade around the floor throwing sweets

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