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My mate set me up on a blind date.
He said, "She's a lovely girl, but there's something you should know... She's expecting a baby."
I felt like a right idiot waiting in the pub wearing nothing but a nappy.
Having just met my blind date in the pub, I brought her a drink and, as we sat down, some jive music came on the jukebox.
She said, "There is something about the jive I find sexy."
So, to impress her, I waved my arms about doing the hand jive. She moaned that she was getting wet.
I said, "Am I turning you on?"
"No, you still have your pint in your hand."
